Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Green Eyed Monster: Blogging and Jealousy

The Green Eyed Monster: Blogging and Jealousy




The blogging community is a wonderful thing. Who wouldn't love having a group of people as obsessed as you are about books and wanting nothing more than to chat about them? But what about when your best bloggy friend gets that ARC you've been dying to read? Or when someone comes up with an incredible feature or meme that gets them loads of visitors and accolades? You're happy for them, of course, but is delight your only emotion? Do you ever feel a twinge of envy, a pinprick of jealousy?

I freely admit to being jealous of my fellow bloggers. Jealousy is not a positive emotion, but it is a natural one. I'm going to posit that every one of you book bloggers have been jealous about something blog or book related at some point. I think it's impossible not to be if you're really invested in blogging and reading, as most of us are.

If you don't think that you've ever been jealous, I'd guess you are (a) a saint; (b) delusional; or (c) lying. I'm not delusional, I'm not lying (at the moment), and I am definitely not a saint.



The Benefits of Jealousy

Despite being petty, I don't think jealousy is inherently bad. It depends on how you react to it.

Bad: Leaving nasty comments on someone's blog in a fit of jealous rage. Allowing envy to stop you from blogging.

Good: Using jealousy to inspire. If you don't want more, you're not going to work for more. Transform your envy into energy. Figure out what bugs you and fix it.

(thanks to Black Nailed Reviews and About To Read for helping me with this point)

Here are a few things that bring out my inner green-eyed monsters...and I'm guessing I'm not alone...and a few ideas of how to move past jealousy.

1) ARCs: This is one of the most obvious ones. Am I the only person whose stomach twists and eyes burn when I see a dozen bloggers get a review copy of a book I want during the weekly IMM posts? In my more immature moments, I'll grumble that a person has less followers than I do and still got a review copy. It's not like I don't have enough books to read. Every week, I'm overflowing with new books that I picked up at the library or the bookstore. But the idea of ARCs is so alluring! The ironic thing is that I love In My Mailbox. With the exception of Follow Friday, it is my favorite meme. I love seeing what books people got and am honestly happy for them.

Here's the thing about ARCs...Consider it a twist on the Field of Dreams saying: "If you don't ask, they won't come." And I don't ask, hardly at all. Partly because of my perceived notions that my blog isn't big enough yet or simply because I'm too lazy to type up e-mails to publishers. People do get unsolicited review copies. But unless you're a mega-blogger who has been doing this for years, unsolicited copies are probably few and far between.

If you're jealous about not getting ARCs, do something about it! E-mail publishers to introduce yourself and ask for a review copy. Go to conferences like BEA or ALA and get your name out. Work on growing your blog, so you'll be more likely to garner attention. And if you still don't receive ARCS...oh well...at least you did what you could.

*Numbers 2 and 3 are similar, but distinct enough that I'm giving them separate categories

2) I'm Not The Story Siren: Kristi is one of my favorite bloggers. She's nice, funny, smart, and obviously well-read. It's hard to argue that she is the queen of YA book blogging. Oh how I wish I was her! I wish I had started blogging three and a half years ago, that I had thought up In My Mailbox and the Debut Author Challenge, that I had established relationships with authors and publishers, that I had loads of followers and made even a little money off blogging, and all the other things that makes Kristi fantastic.

Yeah, that one's kinda petty. But instead of envying Kristi, I try to use her as inspiration. She reminds me that the longer you blog, the more respected you're likely to be. Same with the value of making contacts with authors and publishers. And of course, having consistently good content.

*On another note...I really wish I could be 11 in 2011 and be as fabulous as Melina at Reading Vacation. I wish I'd read as much and written as well as she does when I was her age. That's not jealousy...that's admiration.

3) Blank's Blog is Better Than Mine: Ah yes...let's bring up my inherent insecurities. I read a lot of blogs. Some are better than others. Many, I think, are better than mine. I love reading the posts, but I often chide myself for not being as good as the respective blogger. For example, I love the thorough and well-written reviews at Supernatural Snark and the hilarious Cover Critiques. I love Small Review's ingenious Review Comparison and her Blogging Tips and Tricks. I think the frequency and consistency of Books With Bite's reviews are highly admirable. Why can't I be that good?

Let's take a step back here...If you ever think like me, do two things. First, think of the positives about your blog. I've been blogging for over a year, have a respectable number of followers, and make a lot of efforts to reach out to the blogging community. I write consistently and my reviews are reasonably well-written (if perhaps a tad bit wordy - as this parenthetical is). Ah, I'm feeling a little better now. Once you've picked yourself out of the mud, use the blogs you admire to better your blog. If you want to improve your writing, check out some books on writing and style. Or read other people's reviews to find a style you want to emulate (not copy!). If you want better features, look around the blogging community. What element of books or blogging is missing? What things are you passionate about? Think outside the box for a bit and come up with something that others haven't yet done.

4) Book Blogger Appreciation Week: This is actually what inspired this post and it is the hardest, most shameful part of this post for me to write. Book Blogger Appreciation Week is one of the most enjoyable blogging events of the year. It's one time where we can all sit back and celebrate the joy of blogging. Where we can step away from the detailed reviews and enjoy our community.

But...there's the awards. Do you sit in school/work awards ceremonies with anticipation? Hoping that when they announce the Best Math Student award or the Top Sales award, your name will be called, even though you suck at math or completely missed the quarterly sales goals? I do. I want to be the one running up to the stage in my fancy ball gown, tears running down my cheeks, and joking about how heavy the Oscar statue is. And while I know it is petty and childish, the fact that I didn't make the awards list dampens my Book Blogger Appreciation Week spirit. I hate that it does. I don't honestly think I deserve any of the awards. Well, maybe I do a little bit, but I am completely honest when I say that the blogs nominated are as good as and likely better than mine (especially the ones I nominated).

My best advice about dealing with not being nominated? Grow up and get over it. I'm being particularly harsh about this one, because it's the advice I most need to hear right now. Look at the blogs that were nominated. What can you learn from them? Maybe even approach them and ask them for advice to improve your blog. But if you've done all you can do, don't worry about it too much. A celebration of the excellence of someone else's blog doesn't mean that yours is bad. Be grateful for the opportunity to blog. Don't let your hurt feelings keep you from participating in Book Blogger Appreciation Week. I was stupid enough to make that mistake last year and want to be a big girl this year. I may not be able to participate as much as I'd like because I'll have just moved to California, but I definitely want to participate in some fashion.

5) Blank's Blog Has More Followers/More Comments Than Mine: Do you feel like you spend loads of time on your blog, but no one's reading it? Does it seem like everyone in the blogging community has their established group of friends and you can't break in? It's hard to start blogging when there are so many other blogs that have been doing this for years. And it's also hard to watch other blogs grow and grow while yours stays stagnate. We all know that the number of followers does not inherently correlate to the quality of the blog or even the loyalty of those followers. Still, you're a lot more likely to have 1000 loyal readers and frequent commenters, if you have 1000 followers than if you have 100. And while the numbers game isn't that important, it's a lot more fun to blog if you are part of the community rather than knocking at the door trying to get in. Besides, who doesn't love seeing those little numbers climb in the GFC widget?

I've written quite a bit about how to gain followers. Check out Part 1 and Part 2 of my advice of How To Gain Followers. Like most things, there's a strategy to gaining followers. How? The answers never vary that much. (1) Good, consistent content: Duh. Have decently written reviews. I've written a post on How to Write a Review. It's pretty flexible. As long as you put some effort into it, I'm sure it'll be good. And make sure you post relatively frequently. At least a few times a week. (2) Network: Regardless of the quality of your reviews, if no one knows about your blog, no one is going to read it. Participate in the weekly blog hops: Friday Follow and Crazy for Books’ Hops and in In My Mailbox. And perhaps another popular meme. Connect with bloggers through Twitter. Participate in author blog tours through Teen Book Scene. (3) Time: Few blogs gain followers rapidly. Getting and keeping followers is a lot of work. It took me about a year to hit 1000 followers, and I devoted hours every weekend to networking. If you want a large blog, prepare to spend lots of time. I average 15 to 20 hours per week on blogging. Granted, that's because I think it's fun and don't have anything better to do. But you're not going to have a big blog without a lot of work.

As for comments...If you give, ye shall receive. The blogs who get the most comments are the ones who comment on other blogs the most. The number of comments is not inherently tied to the number of followers. Some blogs with only a few hundred followers get tons of comments, because those bloggers are so dedicated to commenting on other blogs. In contrast, some of the blogs with 2000+ followers don't get that many comments, because the blogger doesn't comment often. We all have limited time and commenting on other people's blogs is really hard. I know I don't do it nearly enough, but if you want lots of comments on your blog, make commenting on other blogs a priority. And, surprise, surprise, I also have a post about How to Comment. The comments to the post are a lot more interesting than what I wrote, so be sure to read them.

There you have the basic elements of my form of blogger jealousy. And now that you've seen a bit of my not-so-great side, it's your turn.

Have you been a jealous blogger? What have you done about it?

48 comments:

  1. I still don't know where the direction my blog is heading (lolz) but hopefully between books,final drafts and writing prompts.

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  2. I'm a fairly new blogger. I practically squee with delight over every page hit and new follower. However, I certainly feel that twinge of jealousy of sites that even newer than mine have more followers and get tons of arcs. It is normal, but I keep plugging away doing my best and I'm hoping to grow further before I start contacting publishers. So patience is my current goal. I'm off to read some of your helpful tips on how to write reviews and network. Thanks for this awesome post!

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  3. Wow Alison! You hit every point on the nail. Even though I have more books than I can possibly read in my lifetime, I still get so jelly of those IMM posts featuring all the ARCs I want, yet I don't really contact publishers for ARCs. I get too embarassed and self-conscious. And you don't want to know how many times I've thought, "I wish I had come up with that idea first!"

    It really is hard not to be envious/jealous, especially when you put so much time and energy into your blog. But you are so right about using those feelings to evaluate and explore your options and consider what is best for you and your blog.

    Very helpful post. I really appreciate you talking about such a taboo/touchy subject, and I think this post will be a great resource for a lot of old and new bloggers.

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  4. Alison,

    First of all, Welcome to the West Coast! I live about half an hour away from Sacramento. It's a great place, and hopefully you'll like it. Great posting about the jealousy in book blogging community. I admit, I get envious of Kristi and all her awesome lists of books. Sometimes when I ask for an ARC from a publisher, I feel kind of guilty for begging, if that makes sense. I'm still a fairly new blogger, and am still trying to get my name out, but I've been dying to go to the BEA next year, but sadly, my job doesn't really permit me to travel. Anyway, I'm rambling now, and I just wanted to welcome you to the sunnier side of the coast! :)

    Livin' Life Through Books

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  5. Alison, I could hug you right now! Have I mentioned before how much I love your discussion posts? :P You're always so articulate and you really hit the nail on the head.

    I don't get jealous so much as I get sad. I'm happy for the other blogger, but then sometimes I wonder, "What am I doing wrong? Why no love for me?" But I can't think like that. I have to think, "Am I enjoying myself?" and look at all the positives. I need to just go with the flow and let the pieces fall where they may.

    The thing I've noticed the most about blogging jealousy is that it doesn't seem to matter how big or small the blog, almost every blogger has moments where they think their blog sucks and another person's blog is a million times better than their own.

    But, ok, I'm having trouble saying what I mean, but take this post for example. You mention my blog (thank you!) and you talk about feeling down about your own, but your blog is totally amazing! You're one of my favorite bloggers and I routinely read your posts and think "Gosh, Alison is an amazing blogger. She's an inspiration." And you are :)

    Ok, now I just sound like a suck up, but my point is that it's kind of funny how we're all jealous about each other.

    And the ARCs? Honestly, I love seeing ARCs I want in other people's mailboxes. Then I know that ARCs for that particular book are available and maybe I could try asking for one. Or, if not, then I usually get excited because I know I'll be getting to read a well-written review for a book I'm really curious about. Besides, if I don't get an ARC, it's not like the book won't be available through the library or bookstore in a few months anyway (I seriously need to practice being more patient anyway).

    Ok, I think I've rambled enough for one night!

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  6. This was a great article. I admit that I would love some ARCs, especially for books in series that I love. Sadly, I know that is almost impossible for me because of where I live. I still love blogging though because I love talking about my favorite books. :D

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  7. Wonderful, honest post! I admire you for writing it - because it's a touchy subject, but it's so accurate. Though I have to say it surprised me to see the title pop up in my reader - I thought "Alison's blog is awesome, what could she possibly have to be jealous about?!" It's reassuring in a way to know that everybody feels this way from time to time.

    ARCs don't bother me so much because I have WAAAY too many books as it is (though I have to admit I'm totally jealous of anyone who has received Lola and the Boy Next Door already, I'm so desperate to read that one, hehe); I do get frustrated when I see blogs that started at the same time as me who have way more followers. I think, "what am I doing wrong?!" or "what are they doing that I'm not?!" But then I remind myself I got into blogging for myself (for the fun of it), and not for the followers. Plus, my followers grow pretty steadily and either way, I love blogging and interacting with the community.

    Thanks for this post, next time I feel that spark of frustration I'll think of this and remind myself to get over it :D

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  8. This is a brilliant post. As a new blogger you have no idea how much I appreciate posts like these and your "how to posts".

    I'm still trying to define what I'm trying to do with my blog and it's surprisingly easy to get caught up in the "oh, she has that / should I have that?" thought pattern. I'm doing my best to remain true to what I want Wandering Hues to be about but there are an awful lot of good blogs out there that can side track you. Even coming up with a name was difficult...

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  9. Great post! I sometimes turn into a little green monster, especially over ARCs on the IMM posts, but I always try to comment nicely when I do... You know what I'm jealous of: all you guys living in the US. Seriously, there are all kinds of awesome author events/blogger events and I can't afford to fly to the US every time (I checked, it's over 1000 euros for a return ticket). I feel like I'm whining, but I'd so LOVE to go to all these things!
    Anyway, you're right, if you don't get jealous once in a while you're not a real person. It's how you deal with it that matters.

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  10. Great post! I didn't mean to read it all, I thought I would just skim but here I am coffee nearly finished :)

    I love your blog, it's one of the few that I looked to for inspiration when I started out. I think your reviews are always well thought out and a lot of time we have similar sort of opinions. It is also your discussion posts that I really do love, I've been thinking about posting some of my own recently, but still haven't quite built up the courage.

    I do have small twinges of jealously in regards to ARC's, but I don't request that many! I like to read what I'm in the mood for rather than feel obligated to read books for review.

    I just want to say great post again!

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  11. What a fabulous post. You have nailed us all down to a tee with this one. I am off to retweet it.

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  12. Great post. I get a little envious at times. I just have to remind myself this is for fun & I do it because I love it. It isn't my job & not to go broke doing it.
    Amy @ www.bookgoonie.com

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  13. When I first started blogging I remember feeling envious of all the ARC's other bloggers got, but I don't feel that way anymore. Maybe ignorance is bliss as I don't participate in IMM and I'm not really familiar with Book Blogger Appreciation Week. When I did IMM for a while, I remember seeing a lot of *jealous* replies to the ARC's certain bloggers received, but why stress it when the book will be released in a couple months anyway. What you said is true - if you want an ARC - you have to put yourself out there and get it. I've seen new blogs crop up and request ARC's straight away, so if other bloggers have a problem with that, then that's what they need to do to.

    Perhaps if I was based in the US I would have a different opinion on this, but since I'm not the coveted ARC's that the big US bloggers get are not applicable to me. I think maybe things work differently over here. We are generally put on publishers mailing lists and get books that way rather than requesting ARC's. Takes the competitive edge off a bit! I think blogging should be enjoyed. It's a hobby. It's not something to stress over or to get upset about.

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  14. This is a truly wonderful post. I'm fairly new to blogging and sometimes feel jealous of bigger blogs, but it's just pointless, you know? I just remind myself that they worked hard to get to where they are and that all I can do is try to be as professional and consistent with my own work without thinking of rewards. I love books and blogging connects me to thousands of other people who do too. That always banishes the jealous thoughts. ^_^

    Angel

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  15. Great advice!I'm not too worried about ARCs at this time, but I do get cranky over pageviews and comments sometimes. But like you said, its all about giving what you want to receive--reach out to people and they will reach out to you.

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  16. Oh, I definitely have "my blog sucks" moments and it's hard not feel that way once you start exploring and getting out of your little bubble. Like you, I also try and use other blogs as my inspiration and work harder. Though I may not have as many comments on my post, I do have from time to time people chat and tell me how helpful my blog is which is really nice. As a blogger, you have to remember basically 2 things: 1.) Why did you start blogging in the first place? and 2.) It's always a work in progress and that takes time and effort. I commend you in writing an honest post!

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  17. Whenever blogger jealousy gets the best of me, I take a step back and try to remember why I started my blog in the first place: for me. My blog isn't about competition.

    Awesome post.

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  18. This is a great post, Allison! I have totally felt the Green Eyed Monster before, especially when I first started blogging. The IMM and ARC's were the worst! Now, it doesn't bother me much. There's way too many books out there! :)

    And I totally agree about the comments, If you give, ye shall receive. Although it doesn't always happen, book bloggers are great at returning comments! :)

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  19. Great post Alison, you really got to the heart of the issue. Like Leanna said above me, being based in the UK does seem to take the competitive edge off, but at the same time I get totally and completely jealous of US bloggers. when they all got their ARCs of Possess and Shatter Me I was thinking "WHY can't I live in the US? why are postage costs so expensive? I NEED THESE BOOKS AND I NEED THEM NOW". but then I calm down and rationalise and figure I can probably afford to buy them when they come out in paperback and maybe, just maybe, they'll be on netgalley anyway

    The Cait Files

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  20. First, good luck with your move! :) Yay for being in the same state/house with your hubby again.

    Second, this post is fantastic. I love how well thought out it is. I'm bitten by the jealously bug at least once a week (if not more). I try not to let it stop me from doing anything, though. Because the jealousy is fleeting and as you've pointed out so well, it can be a crutch to help motivate me to do better. :)

    I'm still trying to work out my content as a book blogger. When I blogged just for personal fun, it was a lot easier because I felt like I could blog about whatever the heck I wanted. I still do to some extent, but I try to cater to my readership a little bit more now. I'm sure I'll find my niche at some point. It's just a matter of when and how. :)

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  21. I'm jealous that I did not write this post. LOL! I loved it; you hit all of my thoughts head on, and I found myself agreeing with most everything. (And found a few new blogs to follow!!)

    I'm fairly new to the book blogging world, (I had a "Mommy Blog" for the first 3 years of my daughters life, and decided to shut that down after some recent drama in their community. I had found book blogging, and it's a far better fit for me anyway!) and it has a lot yet to learn, but I am loving every minute of it. And reminding myself how much I have to learn and how different it really is.

    Good luck on your move! And definitely stop by the Corn Palace ;) (I was a truck driver for 5 years, and I made a point to do all the touristy stuff!)

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  22. Awesome post! I love all the points you said. I agree with everything! Blogging takes hard work and I am in no way super jealous. I get jealous, but not in a bad way. Love this :)

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  23. This is an excellent post! In the beginning, I think I used to get jealous because I felt like I had to compete. Then life got super busy, and I really had to take a step back at what's important. . . I love my blog, but taking stock of its place in my life in comparison with other things really did a lot for me and seriously put a cap on any jealousy that I had. That helps, too, but I really think you hit all the main points that people who blog can get jealous over.

    Thanks, Alison!

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  24. This is such an awesome post.

    I think I get jealous because my priorities are different from others. I have a large amount of followers and I'm excited about it. I appreciate it, but I've always been envious of the number of comments that others. From the beginning my goals centered around comments.

    I have to stop myself sometimes, because sometimes I get my feelings hurt when I comment tons on a particular blog and they never comment on mine.

    I think everyone gets jealous but like you said, the key is positive an thinking about what you do right.

    Thanks for this post. The blogger jealousy blues (or greens) can be such a downer.

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  25. Wow this is such a great post! Being a new blogger, I do feel sometimes envious of blogs that get ARCs of books that I am pining for.
    I think that your post really makes me see that it doesn't really matter who has the most followers or who gets the most ARCs but about the joy of blogging. And having a book blog really makes me enjoy reading even more :)


    http://sarahcatchingbooks.blogspot.com/

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  26. I get a twinge of jealousy every once in a while, but then I try to remember that I'm actually blogging for myself, not necessarily to be a star. It's a hard mindset to remove myself from, because going through school I was the kid who got every award. As an adult, though, I know that I have a fulltime job and a commute that adds up to about 2.5 hours every day, and one gal can't do it all. If I didn't work, or worked less, or had a shorter commute I could devote more time, but my job rocks and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

    So yeah, love this post, and we need to think of ourselves as individuals in a community rather than competition. And if I don't get an ARC? (I almost never do unless I go to BEA or ALA). It's okay, I'll just get the book when it's at the library. I have a pile to read first, anyhow.

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  27. Alison, This is one of the very best blog posts EVER. I am not kidding when I say that. I can tell that you put a lot of thought and time into what you wrote. I look at other blogs for inspiration too. If they can do it, well then so can I. And thank you so much for your sweet thoughts on Reading Vacation. It means a lot. Hugs!

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  28. I'll admit. I get jealous from time to time of various things. I always let it fester and make a bigger deal in my head. The best thing that I do for myself is start to tell my fiance what I'm so upset about and then it's like as soon as I hear it..I realize how ridiculous it is. So then I do exactly what you suggested...I use that envy/jealous/my blog sucks moment to work harder and turn it into some positives. Some of my (IMHO) very best posts and ideas came right after I felt defeated.

    Excellent post! You captured a few thoughts I had been thinking and talk about in private with my very best blogging friends! :)

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  29. Ah, this was so fun to read! I felt like you were reading my thoughts! I started blogging recently, and I definitely feel like I'm on the outside looking in sometimes. It's nice to know I'm not the only one, and that someone as popular as you sometimes has the same feelings! This was really inspiring :) Thanks<3

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  30. Oh and btw. Hope you love it here in Cali :)

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  31. I agree with almost point you've made in this post. No matter how impressive my IMM is (and some weeks it can be pretty awesome), someone else's is ALWAYS better, and someone else ALWAYS gets that one elusive ARC I've been dying to read LOL I am getting better about asking for what I want, as a blogger but also a YA librarian. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but you never know until you try!

    As far as the jealousy of other blogs, lord, don't we all wish we were The Story Siren? LOL But whenever I start to get down about my blog, I look at the big picture--I've been blogging for just under a year and have over 400 followers, which is pretty amazing in my eyes. I don't get tons of comments, but just enough to know that SOMEONE is reading my reviews. And I constantly remind myself that blogging is something I do for fun and I don't want it to start consuming my life. So, I will keep working on it, and trying to improve it (and maybe someday I, too, will be nominated for a Book Blogger Award!), and as long as it's still fun for me, it's all good!

    Great post, though!

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  32. Alison, I think I pretty much love this post so much. You brought up some really valid points, especially the "if you don't ask, they won't come." I think that can go for followers, comments, and ARCS. I have found the book blogging community to be very friendly and supportive but frankly, if you don't get out there and type up that e-mail to a publisher, or comment on your fellow blogger's entries, or take a chance and do a Follow Friday hop, the riches of the blogging world aren't (likely) going to come flooding your way. Basically: you get what you give.

    I also like what you said about using bloggers like Kristi as inspiration. I definitely agree with that. :)

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  33. I definitely admit to having been jealous about ARCs, and those who got them. I recently decided to put that energy towards reading what I have, because I have definitely bought a few years worth of books to read, and I remember that those ARCs will have finished versions coming soon. I'd much rather read a finished version and support the industry by buying than receive a free book that could change drastically between ARC and final.

    And for those feeling the jealousy towards those getting ARCs, there are always sites like Around the World ARC Tours, and many many others.

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  34. This was a great post with a lot of excellent points and tips. I really enjoyed reading.
    I've had the "jealousy bug" mildly a few times, I'll admit, but not in such a way that it's harsh- kept it to myself and grumbled a bit was all before finding a way to make myself laugh at the way I was acting. Lol. Like you said, it happens to the best of us all! :P
    Hope you are having an excellent week. Once again- great post. Thanks for sharing!

    <3
    Pixie
    http://the-bookaholic.blogspot.com

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  35. I just started blogging at the beginning of summer and I know what you mean about jealousy rearing it's ungly head :-) I also experience 'reading anxiety' because I feel like everybody eslse is cranking out the reviews, and I have such limited time to read that I feel like I'm always behind.

    I just have to remind myself why I started my blog in the first place...to talk about the books I like to read and see what others are reading. Easier said than done! Thanks for the honesty!

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  36. Hello!

    So... Yeah, this is a great post that I can completely relate to. I started bloggin in late Juni and I'm still small, so everytime I get a new follower or a comment I feel like a goddess... and then I realize that other blogs have grown faster or get more traffic that mine.

    I don't complain much about ARC's yet. On the one hand, I'm getting approved several over at Netgalley, and on the other I understand that I need to keep going longer if I want to proof that I'm in this for the long haul (and no editor would want to send an ARC to a occassional reviewer!)

    Also, at first I liked any blog better than mine! It was too serious-looking, too... boring. But thankfully, that got settled when I understood the whole weight of bloggin and could fixt things (and schedules) up a little.

    To be honest, I think the spot I have more trouble with is post speed. I read blogs with amazing reviews or pieces of advice every day, but I just can't read that quick! If I read, I don't write reviews. If I review, I don't read. And if I blog about writing, I can't do any of the above!

    And that's without taking into account that I was an author before a reviewer and still need time to get my short stories and novel out there...

    How do you guys manage?!? I really want to be as good as the blogs I follow!

    Ron

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  37. Awesome, awesome post Alison! I know I've certainly experienced some jealousy when looking in everyone's amazing mailboxes and seeing books I requested but didn't receive, and then I sit back and wonder what publishers are seeing in those blogs that they're not seeing in mine. It's not so much that I feel that particular blogger is undeserving of the books they receive, not at all, I just at times want to know why I got overlooked at they didn't.

    I think it happens to all of us because we all love to read and even though we have piles of books waiting, there are some we're more excited for than others and want to get our hands on them asap! Now that I've been doing the blog for a year I'm feeling more content, I don't receive a ton of ARCs but I still have lots to read and I feel like I've formed great relationships with other bloggers and that's making everything better.

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  38. Okay I just have to say this is an awesome post. I just sat here and read it twice. I think sometimes I get hit with the blogging jealousy when bloggers get great ARCs but I get over stuff quickly and move on because I can always buy the book later. As for followers and comments, I understand that it takes time and work. I've only been blogging 3 months and my blog is a constant work-in-progress and the comments and followers that I have are all signs that the work I'm doing is paying off. Once again, great post. :)

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  39. Great and you nailed all the green eyed monsters. But I agree you have to ask and you have to be happy with your blog and the direction. I will never be where Rach or kristi are but I have book blogging friends and we share the book wealth.

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  40. Absolutely fabulous -- and so true -- post, Allison! I do love IMM but that green-eyed monster tends to rear its head...

    I prefer the glass-half-full view of life and, like you, try to put a positive spin on my jealousy. Much more productive that way!
    Mary @ BookSwarm

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  41. OMG!what a day..
    I am starting a new blog (this one I am typing from now) & I had issues w/the email for my other blog so I have to shut it all down *cries* BUT I can relate 100% to EVERYTHING you posted!
    In fact I want to archive this cuz it is phenomenal.
    I felt that I had 200 followers on my old blog (again tears its going bye bye cuz sum1 wanted to hack my email & too much damage has been done to keep it open)
    & another person I met had like half and she got 37 entries for a contest and I got like 10.
    I was sooo mad..lol..I literally turned all shades of red and blue.
    But she is sweet and nice so I cant get that mad at her, its not her fault. Plus I dont want to lose a potential pal.
    I thought about ending the blog gig 100% when my email got hacked and then I though NO You enjoy it so do it again.
    Now that I literally get a fresh start I am re thinking it, applying all I learned, etc.
    ARCS drive me bonkers too..lolz..I am very jealous ppl get em in the mail and all I get is ebook ARCS. BUT I am GRATEFUL for them as such a wet behind the ears newbie. Eternally grateful.
    So, while I wanna compare and grumble about "why dont I have this or that?" I tell myself to shut my face up and remember as a newbie u cant expect it all to happen overnight, you have to work hard and put in the effort and be genuinely nice about it. A mean, nasty, underhanded, person will not get far in this at all.
    I hear bout ppl stealing other reviews or trying to bad mouth other bloggers and I get sad.
    Theres enough for us ALL & we all have a love of books in common and have other stuff in common too.
    U all rock IMHO & Ia m jealous of you all, you too Ali! U blog kicks serious BOOTY!

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  42. This is such an awesome post that of course now I am jealous of it :-)

    'Jealousy' seems to be a bit of a dirty word on the internet. Nobody wants to admit to it, but it's a totally natural feeling. Most of the time, it just reflects a frustration with yourself, anyway. At the moment, I've been feeling jealous of a blogger who I like a lot and consider a blogging friend. But she's only been blogging for a couple of months and is already almost at 100 followers! It took me 6 months to hit that! But then I remember how cautious I was when I first started blogging and how I almost didn't want anybody to know about my blog, because I wasn't confident about it and didn't feel it was worth reading. I had to move at my own pace.

    And yes, I've had my moments of wishing I was Kristi (it's comforting to know so many have!). But in reality, I could never be like her: I'm not organised, I'm not bubbly, I'm not a natural talker...and I'm fine with that! I'm me and that's perfectly OK. I have my own strengths.

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  43. Love your post. I have definitely had jealous moments seeing other people's IMM, but like you said, you have to ask for those ARCs. I rarely do, so I don't really expect to get any.

    I love your blog, and have definitely had moments of jealousy over your awesome design and follower numbers. But it just motivates me to find a design I love myself. For followers, I know they come with time and effort, and honestly, I'd rather get more comments than followers.

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  44. Oh the blog jealousy NEVER ends with me, BUT I don't let it interfere with how I interact with bloggers I adore. My belief is that I blog for me and if I get praise and recognition for it along the way, then double SNAPS for me!

    Great post Alison, as usual! Hope you're having fun on your trip!

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  45. Great points and especially amazing advice! I think everyone gets twinges of jealousy now and then but like you said, it's important not to take anything too personally and just get over it. I don't so much get jealous of any of the specific reasons that you listed above but I am very insecure about my reading speed so I am very jealous of fast readers. I feel it's so important when you're a book blogger to be able to read at atleast an adequate speed, and I fall well below the mark. I don't have any reading disabilities that I know of, just incredibly slow. But oh well! Can't change the way I am so best just accept it!

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  46. What a fantastic and honest post! I think I can relate to every item on this list at some point in my two years blogging. I especially feel the little green monster during IMM...I definitely love the meme but when you see the same book over and over, I definitely get a case of "why not me?"

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  47. I'm in agreement with all your points and all the subsequent comments. I am quite jealous sometimes when I see how many followers some other blogs have or how many comments they get, especially because I love interacting with other book bloggers. But then I know time runs through my hands like sand and I sometimes seem to have no time to reply or go out and comment on posts I like. I just always remind myself that I love book blogging because I love to write about books. The appreciation you get from other bloggers is just a bonus :)
    Great post!

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